Masters of the Universe

2026

I am a big fan of the original cartoons featuring He-Man and She-Ra, so I knew from the trailers that this was not going to be my cup of tea. Nicholas Galitzine was better than I thought, and the big surprise was that Jared Leto’s Skeletor is pretty much perfect. On the whole, though, this movie is more confused about its identity than Prince Adam.

There is not a firm unifying vision in the film. It seems like everyone is on a slightly different page and doing their thing with no director to pull it together. One reason I was nervous about this film when it was announced is that the tone of the original is very specific and of-its-time, but it works like lightning in a bottle. Trying to bottle that lightning again in 2026 had high odds of ending in electrocution.

There doesn’t seem to be a group consensus on what is played straight and what is lovingly mocked. One successful example is that Adam, who has been lost on Earth for fifteen years, christened the people in his childhood memories with the names a ten-year-old might use: Ram Man, Fisto, etc. There is a lot of humor that arises from this idea, especially concerning the unfortunate name of Fisto. That should give you an idea of the adult nature of the laughs. This movie is all about sex jokes delivered by your childhood cartoon heroes. It’s uncomfortable. And not at all subtle. Skeletor even talks about the “big, long sword dangling between those glorious thighs.” And yet, the jokes are the only things that actually work well, despite their often crude nature.

I read an interview in which the director lamented not being able to include Mer-Man because there were just too many characters. And yet he highlights obscure characters like Goat Man and ridiculous heroes like Mekaneck. Of course, this film wants more diversity, and that’s fine, but adding warrior-woman Dian—who is basically Teela—is a dumb way to achieve it. Genderswap one of the existing characters, like they do with Roboto (who, voiced by Kristen Wiig gets some great lines). The rosters of heroes (Ram Man, Mekaneck, Man-at-Arms, Teela, Roboto, Fisto, Dian, The Sorceress, and Moss Man) and villains (Beast-Man, Goat Man, Trap Jaw, Evil-Lyn, Tri-Klops, Spikor, and some guy from the 1987 movie named Klarg) seem somewhat random. A number of those characters don’t get anything to do (Tri-Klops doesn’t even rotate to another eye), and some essential characters like Orco and Mer-Man don’t really show up.

Speaking of Wiig, who voices a CGI Roboto…she’s funny, but her voice doesn’t fit in with the rest of the world. The same is true of Cringer’s voice. And poor Cringer only becomes Battle Cat for a quick shot at the end. The aesthetic is odd, half Mattel and half Peter Jackson. I couldn’t watch Spikor or Beast-Man roar without seeing the orcs. And, like the humor, the fight scenes are aimed at adults. Characters die, and the fighting is simultaneously dorky and violent.

Above all, the biggest problem with the script is that it exiles Adam on Earth (so that he can use corporate de-escalation talk before resorting to violence) for fifteen years, during which Skeletor rules Eternia. He-Man was always about the heroes being the ones in power, while She-Ra was a story of resistance against a world ruled by evil. Those were their basic identities. But I suppose no one today is willing to accept the ruling class as heroes. And so, even during the short scenes of King Randor’s reign, he is a bully, publicly humiliating young Adam for his lack of manliness. Randor was always concerned about Adam’s disinterest in royal life, but he usually discussed it quietly with Queen Marlena. He didn’t barge into Man-at-Arms’s training session to challenge his ten-year-old son to a sword battle, berate him for losing, and leave with a haughty air.

And that’s another aspect of the film that’s neither here nor there. It wants to talk about what makes a man…but Adam’s attempts to talk it out and appeal to Skeletor’s inner humanity always fail, making the nonviolent version of masculinity a laughingstock. It still comes down to fighting…constant boring fighting. Aside from the main protagonist and antagonist, no one puts in a great performance, but Alison Brie finds a whole new nadir of acting as Evil-Lyn. She’s absolutely awful. And, like everyone in this confused CGI fest, she’s in her own movie that doesn’t match any of the other private movies scattered everywhere.